Dear Therapist: My Boyfriend’s Depression Is Making Me Question Our Future Together

I will be 26 in 8 days and I have not had a boyfriend or a date in 5 and a half years. It all started when I got involved with another girl 6 years ago. I had feelings for her that I wanted to explore and 8 months into it, I knew that being a lesbian was not who I am. I have been depressed ever since that time. The problem is that I have no idea how to go about meeting men. I am attracted to many, but can not get up the courage to talk to them or pursue anything. I am so afraid of something and I do not know what. I stay at home almost every night and watch TV. I am afraid now that I have let myself slip into a depression that I will never meet someone. I have put on a lot of weight the past 4 years and am afraid that no man would want to be with an overweight girl.

I’m dating someone with depression and anxiety. What to do?

Depression is the leading cause of disability in the U. Odds are that at some point you have already or will eventually date someone with major depressive disorder. Dating someone with depression can put added strain on your relationship. It can make it harder to connect with them, becoming a wall that separates you. The bad news is that depression will always be present in some form if you are dating someone with MDD.

After a year-and-a-half of dating, my boyfriend and I were seriously discussing marriage, but he ended the relationship when I couldn’t “snap out of” an episode​.

About Once you get close enough to someone you’ve been dating, your S. And if they mention depression, you could have a million questions—from what you can do to help to what this will mean for your relationship. To help you navigate the situation, we chatted with mental health experts to get the ins and outs of what to expect when dating someone with depression.

The stereotypical idea of depression is someone who feels sad all the time, but that’s not the only way it can affect people. When that happens, try not to take their moodiness personally, she suggests. And don’t be afraid to step out if you’re feeling attacked. Both depression itself and antidepressant medications can lead to low libido, so don’t be surprised if your partner isn’t up for getting down. Don’t guilt-trip your partner or pressure them into having sex when they don’t feel like it, says Abigael San , D.

Psy, a London-based psychologist. Instead, focus on building emotional closeness.

27 things you should know before you date someone with depression

Millions of readers rely on HelpGuide for free, evidence-based resources to understand and navigate mental health challenges. Please donate today to help us protect, support, and save lives. As men, we like to think of ourselves as strong and in control of our emotions. When we feel hopeless or overwhelmed by despair we often deny it or try to cover it up. But depression is a common problem that affects many of us at some point in our lives, not a sign of emotional weakness or a failing of masculinity.

It affects millions of men of all ages and backgrounds, as well as those who care about them—spouses, partners, friends, and family.

May 18th, pm. As someone who has depression, I like it when my partner texts me something random to let me know they are thinking.

Jenn Mann answers your sexiest questions — unjudged and unfiltered. When my boyfriend and I first started dating, he told me that he struggled with depression. In retrospect, I think I was naive. What can I do to help him? You are not alone and neither is your boyfriend: According to the American Psychological Association , as many as 17 million adults in this country suffer from depression. Depression does not discriminate based on age, socioeconomics, fame or success.

In fact, many celebrities have spoken openly about their own difficulties with depression, including Lady Gaga , Kristen Bell.

Depressed and Not Dating

If you are in a relationship with someone who has depression, you are likely struggling with a mix of emotions and hosts of questions. What’s it really like to feel depressed? What can you do to help them through hard times? How will their symptoms and treatment impact your relationship? While every person’s experience with depression is unique, here are a few things you can do to help your loved one and yourself.

Depression is devastating. When someone is experiencing depression, their entire life is blown apart. It can be a massive struggle just to make it through each​.

Depression is devastating. When someone is experiencing depression, their entire life is blown apart. It can be a massive struggle just to make it through each day. But they aren’t the only ones who struggle. Often forgotten are the loved ones of a person with depression. No-one tells them how to cope. They don’t know what to do. I would like to try and offer some advice to those people.

Knowing somebody you love is struggling with depression leaves you feeling incredibly helpless.

8 Tips On Dating Someone With Depression

But, the important phrase there is loved ones— as in, your preexisting network of friends and family. But a new romantic relationship should be built on give and take. Not just the latter. Depressed men, please stop dating.

When you’re dating someone with depression, being supportive in the best ways is hard. Here’s how to help your partner without dismissing.

Depression Part Two by Allie Brosh. Depression is not incompatible with finding love or someone to spend the night with but it does present certain challenges. Having depression has been likened to a waterboarding of the soul, so it can be understandably hard on said soul and its mate. I was wondering if you could have a discussion about this and any tips for those who 1 live with depression and how to manage it when you are with a partner and 2 on the other side of things, how to help a significant other when they are depressed.

Clinical psychologist Gemma Cribb joined us in The Hook Up studio to offer her expertise to listeners. You can listen to the full chat or read on for her advice:. Jordan called in to talk about how, after looking after his partner who struggled with depression, he eventually realised that he was struggling with it as well. So, he asked Gemma, can being with someone with depression exacerbate your own symptoms or depressive tendencies?

Tumblr leftboob-enthusiast. Beyondblue estimates that in any one year, around 1 million Australian adults have depression. At its root, depression is a temporary inability to feel pleasure. We heard from Kate who has previously had depressive episodes and not understood what was happening to her. At times it can be better, for both parties, to no longer be together. Caller Hannah spoke about her experience dating someone who had depression, someone who she really liked and who really liked her.

What You Need to Know if You’re Dating Someone With Depression

But trying to navigate through the maze of emotions that is dating gets even harder — and can seem impossible — when you’re already grappling with a mental illness primarily affecting your emotions: depression. Because depression can severely affect a person’s ability to get up in the morning and live their lives, it can make dating — something that literally requires you to function pretty well — a little bit of a challenge to deal with.

In honor of National Mental Health Awareness Month, Elite Daily spoke to a couple of experts about how dating can change when you have depression. Obviously, dating is very much a social activity.

☏ “From personal experience when the mind is depressed you tend to want to isolate yourself, and can feel like a burden to others, which scares.

A scan of the statistics reveals: 1 in 5 Americans will experience mental health struggles in their lifetime. Two things we can learn from conversations about dating a partner with depression:. All relationships face obstacles, some more than others. Dating someone with depression is no exception, and can even be more challenging. However, those with depression often have incredible capacities for empathy, understanding, and emotional insight, which enrich relationships.

Learn how others get through similar struggles , and make the most of your amazing partner, despite their depression. For those who have depression, the stigma surrounding their symptoms can dissuade them from dating in the first place. Depression takes arguments to a whole new level. For many with depression, sarcastic comments feel more threatening, and conflicts feel more like personal attacks. Even a small argument can seem catastrophic to someone with depression.

They may give up easily, believing your issues are unfixable, while you see an argument as a small bump on the road. Here, your communication skills will shine: remind them that the two of you are together for a reason.

Dating Someone with Depression: Is That a Good Idea?

There are just a few things you should probably know. Mind has some great information. If we do something wrong, criticise our actions, not us as a person. Language is powerful in itself, but a depressed person will read into what you say, take it deeply personally, and analyse it for hours until it confirms every bad thing we think about ourselves. Be careful.

One woman reveals the lessons she has learned from being in a long-term relationship with a man who is struggling with depression.

Have a question? Email her at dear. My boyfriend and I are in our early 20s, and we recently moved in together after being in a long-distance relationship for four years. I can barely get a normal conversation. I feel so alone. He is trying to get help, but he refuses to go on any medications or stick with a plan to get better for very long. I am so scared that this is going to always be his life—a constant roller-coaster ride controlled by depression.

I want so much more for him, and for us.

What It’s Really Like Dating Someone With Depression